Don’t judge that mum at the park on her phone, PLEASE!

I am that mum.

I’m there on my phone reading Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

I’m there sending messages to friends and family that I haven’t messaged in days.

I’m sitting there with my cup of coffee happily leaving the kids to play and asking the eldest to push the youngest on the swing because i’m busy.

Yup. I AM THAT MUM!

Why am I that mum?

In every normal day I wake up at 7am and get the children ready for school, I feed them, clothe them, make the lunches and get them there safely. Then i’m home again and feeding our youngest son, dressing him for the day, setting him up with some games or puzzles and i’m on the laptop next to him – studying.

Throughout the day I am alternating myself between studying and playing with my young son, feeding him and generally attending to his needs and wants plus somewhere in between cleaning our too big of a house and cooking a meal for the night.

I’m tired, i’m worn out, i’m disconnected from friends and family. So when we are at the park I reconnect. I open Twitter, I open Facebook, I open Instagram, I make some calls and send some texts and let the kids play alone.

There’s 4 of them playing at any one time, they’re not babies anymore, they need to know how to be happy with their own company and I don’t think it’s a crime to let them play together, do you?

Oh I see you judging me, looking at me sideways when my young one asks someone to push him and I call our other son to go and push his brother. I see your questioning eyes looking at eachother and making your minds up about me before you even know me.

I don’t care.

Please don’t judge us mums on our phones at the park. Sometimes that hour at the park is the ONLY peaceful hour we have had for a brainless activity all day.

And when i’m home again, i’ll be with my kids again – we’ll watch a movie and get ready for meals, showers and bedtimes together. It’s just 1 hour out of my day at the park, and I NEED that hour!

Here’s some photo’s of my unfortunate children not being cared for at the park 😛

CLEARLY Unhappy children 😉

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Birth story of baby 5 – Caesarian is birth TOO

I share this story to go hand in hand with my previous post Caesarian IS birth

This is the birth of our son Elias. It was a very very hard pregnancy followed by an equally hard delivery. But I happily say that it was completely worth every pain and hardship.

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Oh my aching ovaries !! He was such a beautiful baby ❤

Here is my birth story on the hardest delivery I have ever had!

The long story of our little son Elias’s birth begins when at 38 weeks and 3 days pregnant I am told by ultrasound that our not so little boy is measuring at 10 pounds. Then begins the preparations for an induction the following week. Filled with nervous excitement we go to our scheduled admission to the hospital on Tuesday the 4th May 2010.

 

After 4 previous inductions I was admitted with complete inner confidence that this would be another “routine” induction where they burst my waters and throw up the syntocin drip and out comes baby within about 5 hours.

 

Boy was I WRONG!!

 

After discussion with my own OB and the specialist OB at the hospital the risks and benefits of early induction are weighed against the induction and my allowing my body to go into labour alone naturally and we make the mutual choice that induction is safer as the chance of the baby becoming stuck in the birth canal with his shoulders causing shoulder dystocia are greater if baby is left to grow any further.

 

( Shoulder dystocia occurs when, after delivery of the fetal head, the baby’s anterior shoulder gets stuck behind the mother’s pubic bone. If this happens, the remainder of the baby does not follow the head easily out of the vagina as it usually does during vaginal deliveries. The subsequent methods of either forcing the delivery or pushing the head of the baby back into the uterus to allow a caesarian birth can cause life threatening injuries to the infant in worst cases. )

 

After a painful examination it is found that the neck of my uterus is still closed and firm and that the mouth to my cervix is barely 1cm open so they are unable to get to my waters to break them the decision to use a foley’s catheter is made for that afternoon to mechanically force the cervix to ripen and open ( A Foley’s catheter is basically a long tube with a balloon on the end that they place between the womb and the membranes then fill the balloon with saline so that it forces the cervix to open slowly over a matter of hours and then falls out when it’s done it’s job ). I am told this is a basically no fail method of ripening the cervix. At 4:30pm that day we are taken back to the labour ward to have the foley’s put into place. After being reassured that it is uncomfortable but not painful I am shocked when it hurts so much and am told that my womb is very firm and they need to force it inside there. The placing of the catheter is tried twice before they say that they need to use a smaller catheter. By now I am shaking in shock and pain and just wishing so much that I never came in to be induced to begin with. Sucking on the gas and air like it was nothing more than oxygen they finally get it in with try number 3 and I’m told jokingly that 3rd times the charm for sure this time and that it will fall out within 12 hours and labour should either start on it’s own or they’ll simply break my waters and labour will follow from there on.

 

After a long night of mild contractions and backpain I am excited by the midwife’s constantly telling me ooohhh this is great things are happening and we’ll have a baby by tomorrow lunch my OB comes in and asks if the foley’s has fallen out, I tell him no it hasn’t and another painful examination shows that I have only dialated to 2cm and the neck of my cervix is still firm so the foley’s was a failure and he manipulates it out of me and the specialist OB comes back to discuss where to go from here. It is decided that I will have prostin Gel placed into my vagina and that will work.

 

That evening I am again examined and there is no change inside from the prostin so they give me another dose with the assurance that “this’ll do it” and that they will hope I go into labour that night. Again a night of mild contractions and the midwife’s telling me it’s all good and the baby will be here soon. The morning comes and I am again examined and told finally my cervix is soft and elastic so they can break my waters.

 

Water is broken to grins around from the two OB’s and the midwife’s on the ward. Relief is in the air and he is told she’ll do it herself now. After 4 babies they were SURE it’ll happen easily for me.

 

Fast forward 3 hours of mild contractions that begin to subside slowly they decide to put up the syntocin drip to kickstart things a bit. I am examined and baby is very very high and has moved away from his side on position, I am assured he’ll move down into my pelvis when good contractions come and then birth will come fast after that. The syntocin works for 1 hour giving me pretty good contractions 3 minutes apart and then they again slowly go away to 1 every 10 minutes but remaining strong and painful.

 

This time my two OB’s come to me worried about our baby and say that we are having an emergency caesarian as baby is still very high and is in a strange position and I have not gone past 3cms dialated.

 

I am very fast prepared for the surgery, given a spinal and hubby is brought in with haste and before I know it they pull our gorgeous little boy out of me amongst sighs and comments of relief that he is healthy and happy and that nothing else went wrong with his birth. He was found to be sunny side up inside of me, his spine along my spine and his neck flexed in such a manner that he physically could not come down into the pelvis and the contractions only made his neck stretch further so this is why I could not go into proper labour.

 

He is weighed and checked and I am told he is a very healthy 4.385kg baby who came out of the delivery better than they were expecting and crying with gusto. I am crying tears of shock, joy and relief and hubby is grinning like crazy and joking around with our OB.

 

So ends our long journey from beginning to end of the exciting, scary, anxious and happy birth of our lovely son Elias

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He sure was a big bruiser hahahhaa

Caesarian IS birth

You’ve likely seen the image, you know the one right?! with the very long surgical scar on mama’s belly from the top of mum’s stomach down to her pubic bone? let me show you.

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This amazing mama tells her story like this:

“A new day and a what seems to be another new post from someone insinuating that giving birth by cesarean means that you didn’t give birth.

Can we please just stop!

I obviously can’t change people’s views but I’ve decided to post this picture to see if it may make people understand that despite what our birth plans might say. Sometimes we don’t get a choice. I didn’t get a choice.
I had a fibroid the size of a melon sat on my cervix and a low lying placenta which meant that I’ve been left with no ordinary csection scar. But whether you believe this or not. I gave birth to my baby. .

So next time you judge someone for not doing what you consider to be “giving birth” please take a minute to think about why they may have had to deliver that way. Think about the fact that given the choice they probably wouldn’t of chosen this but had no choice. Why would you choose a major operation and 6 weeks of recovery?

This scar saved me from losing a life threatening amount of blood and meant my baby was brought into this world as she should be. Healthy and unharmed, as was I.” -Jodie Shaw

I’ve delivered babies both by caesarian AND vaginally. They’re both a lot of work in many different ways. Whenever I hear anyone say that caesarian birth is lazy or caesarian mums are ‘too posh to push’ I get FURIOUS! NO ONE would choose that 6 weeks recovery if they had a choice, NO ONE believes that it’s easier to deliver by caesarian than by “natural” methods. To even begin to think that you are in some way superior because you pushed your baby out of your vagina and another mother had to have MAJOR abdominal surgery to deliver her baby is ridiculous!

Do you even KNOW what goes in to having a caesarian delivery? do you even realise how much longer the recovery takes? How sometimes that delivery can leave you unable to bond easily with your child because the surgery was possibly an emergency and your body and mind is in shock and unable to process what you have just been through? how sometimes the mother has been labouring for DAYS and trying her damned hardest to push out that baby but the baby was unable to be delivered for some reason?

My first caesarian was NOT by choice. I’ve NEVER gone into labour naturally, EVER! And I am a mother to SIX children. Oh I tried to go into labour, I have tried every damn thing imaginable, curries, sex, bumpy roads, long long walks, teas and tinctures, oils and massage but nothing puts me into labour. I went to 42 weeks with one of my children and he was born with almost no amniotic fluid in the uterus and was sickly when he was delivered because of it.

You think birth is easy because baby was cut out? it’s not. In fact from all of my deliveries (4 vaginal and 2 caesarian) Let me tell you, VAGINAL IS EASIER! oh yes! it’s easier alright, once that baby is out it’s over. Sure you might of had a couple of stitches or a graze but it’s done, you can walk directly after for your shower, you can sit (tenderly and tentatively) afterwards but it’s done. I’d take a natural delivery over a caesar any day!

Of the two caesarians I had, 1 was an emergency and the other was elective. Elective because I KNEW this baby was big (my last babe was almost 10lbs and this was the same) and I didn’t want another baby stuck and unable to be delivered because he was so large. My emergency caesar left me in mental shock for 10 days afterwards, I was in a daze, I was unable to think, I cried spontaneously, my milk took it’s time to come, and baby was bruised from the pushing I did before he was ultimately taken out through surgery.

Anyway …..

In summary (sorry for the unusually long post) can we just quit the judging of other mothers because of how their babies came out of the womb? honestly – we are ALL warriors for carrying these heavy burdens for so many months and bringing them into the world.

Be kind.

Happy Birthday Zachary !!!

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16 years ago I welcomed this handsome guy into the world. He came out and looked around taking the world in, he’s still looking at the world and its mysteries with the very same way.

He’s still mummy’s boy, not shy to give me a gigantic hug and tell me he loves me.

Zachary is a warm hearted guy who makes me laugh even on them days when I feel like I’ll never laugh again.

Zachary I love you and I am so proud of you. The world is a better place just because you are in it!!!

 

Introducing our newest family members

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Meet Sunny and Aqua !! I bet you can’t guess who is who hahaha Named by our son Ishaq. Our babies are only 10 weeks old but wow their little personalities are so different. Sunny is snuggly and loves to hide in your lap for a nap but Aqua loves to sleep in their cage.

Do you have pets? what are their names?

If you had $86,400.00 daily, what would you do?

I do not know who wrote this but it’s a good one.

Yes, it’s a pondering life type of day here for me.

Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest: Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400.00 in your private account for your use.

However, this prize has rules, just as any game has certain rules. The first set of rules would be:

Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.

You may not simply transfer money into some other account. You may only spend it.

Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400.00 for that day.
The second set of rules:

The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say, It’s over, the game is over!
It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?

You would buy anything and everything you wanted right? Not only for yourself, but for all people you love, right?
Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
You would try to spend every cent, and use it all, right?

ACTUALLY This GAME is REALITY!

Each of us is in possession of such a magical bank. We just can’t seem to see it.

The MAGICAL BANK is TIME!

Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life, and when we go to sleep at night,
any remaining time is NOT credited to us.

What we haven’t lived up that day is forever lost.

Yesterday is forever gone.

Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time…WITHOUT WARNING.

SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?

Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.

Think about that, and always think of this:

Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself,

be Happy,

Love Deeply and enjoy life!

Here’s wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day.

Start spending.